I wrote this poem on September 12th, 2016, as a response to my dying dreams with running and my search to find a greater purpose and restart to my life.
Though I am enshrouded by the phantoms of the past;
though I am tormented and burned in the present;
though I am suffocated and drowned by future dreams silenced,
I will not become a revenant.
Though my breath has been stolen and my legs have grown weak;
though my heart is now rapt and malevolent;
though I can no longer stand and can barely speak,
I will not surrender a degenerate.
When my mind turns to ash and my heart beats its last;
for when I can no longer breathe;
from the moment your touch feels foreign and asked,
my soul will live on and have peace.
At the moment when the world is shadowed in gray;
when what once was is no longer home;
at the moment when there’s no reason left to believe,
my pyre’s splendor has already shown.
When the air in the night has turned hazy and cold;
when I have lost you, my last loving friend,
I’ll be forced to die—yes, once more, inside—
and I will rise again, irreverent.